[kanaloa]

First week's competition... let's start with the jokes. Whether you recieved it, found it, heard it, or made it up yourself... let's see who can spit out the best single joke.

Rules:
1 Joke Per Person in this thread.
After 1 week we'll all vote.
You won't be able to vote for your own joke
Person with the most votes wins.


Have fun!!

[Xstream]

um, adult themed or otherwise? makes a BIG difference in my joke!

[jojo]

Heres my favorite

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant,who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers,

"Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said,

"In my country, I am called a Princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat,

"Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up b*tch."

[Xstream]

hahaha! oh the compitition is tough! but this reminded me of a joke from long ago, so if I can remember it..... :woot

[SCgone]

Three missionaries were captured by cannibals. They were led before the chief and he then asked the first missionary,
"Death or ruru"
The first missionary said to himself, Well, I can't choose death, so I'll choose ruru.
So he replied, "ruru".
The chief said "RURU"
Immediately, hundreds of natives grabbed the missionary, pulled off his clothes, threw him over a log and sodomized him to death.
The chief then asked the second missionary,
"Death or ruru."
The second missionary said to himself, Maybe ruru means more than one thing to these people, I'll have to take my chances and choose ruru.
So he replied, "ruru."
The chief said "RURU."
Immediately, hundreds of natives grabbed the missionary, pulled off his clothes, threw him over a log and sodomized him to death.
The chief then asked the third missionary,
"Death or ruru."
The third missionary said to himself, I'll have to choose death, anything would be better than that".
So he replied, "death".
The chief then said.
"DEATH................


by RURU".

[Xstream]

most of my jokes are way too obsene for this public forum, so here's a cleaner one...





Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off
a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old
son in the apartment was to send him out on the
balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood
activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents
put their plan into operation. "There's a car being
towed from the parking lot," he said. "An ambulance
just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the
Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's riding
a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and
Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the
startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on
the balcony too," his son replied.

[kanaloa]

LMAO... I'm getting a kick out of these already.

[Thomas52]

3 women were captured by the guerillas & sentenced to death by firng squad. The redhead was brought out, and thinking furiously, she shouted "Earthquake." The guerillas all scrambled for safety & she ran off into the jungle & enscaped.
Somewhat disheartened, the guerillas brought out the brunette and place her before the firing squad. "Ready... aim..." And she shouted "Tornado!"
The guerillas all scampered to shelter and she ran into the jungle & escaped.
The blonde was brought out before the firing squad. Once again, "Ready... aim..." The blonde having watched the other 2 women escape, shouted "FIRE!"

Oh, well.....

:lalala i didnt do it

[dlt]

3 women were captured by the guerillas & sentenced to death by firng squad. The redhead was brought out, and thinking furiously, she shouted "Earthquake." The guerillas all scrambled for safety & she ran off into the jungle & enscaped.
Somewhat disheartened, the guerillas brought out the brunette and place her before the firing squad. "Ready... aim..." And she shouted "Tornado!"
The guerillas all scampered to shelter and she ran into the jungle & escaped.
The blonde was brought out before the firing squad. Once again, "Ready... aim..." The blonde having watched the other 2 women escape, shouted "FIRE!"

Oh, well.....

:lalala i didnt do it

Lol...I can just picture it...

[SCgone]

Person with the most votes wins.

What