by Larry Richman
August 24, 2006 6:14 PM

Here's a little true story. When I was in college, I had a weekly show on the school radio station. I never asked for it, nor aspired to do it, but my roommate was on the station and when he went home for vacation and asked me to fill in for him, I figured what the heck. Long story short, I was good. I had my own show the next year. I became pretty well known on campus. It was very uncomfortable for me, but I enjoyed playing music on the radio.

After my junior year, I was getting ready to go home for the summer. My roommate that year was also on the radio station, and he had applied for a job at a big radio station in the city. He told me that I ought to send in a tape and apply too. I thought it was a bit silly, but I did it. I got the job. Next thing I know I'm a real DJ. I became more and more successful and well-known. I did not ask to become a celebrity, nor did I really want it. But it happened.

After awhile, my brother came to visit me. He was a lawyer but was actually jealous of me because he had always wanted to be in the music business. One day we had a long talk. I told him I was going to quit. He was flabbergasted. "Why on Earth would you want to leave?" I told him that I just wasn't comfortable with the "fame" and being recognized and treated special just because of what I did for a living.

Well, he told me to stick with it and I'd get used to it. And you know what? I did. But I was never comfortable with being a celebrity and I never really enjoyed that part of it. I just loved playing music on the radio. But I wanted to be able to get up in the morning, go to the 7-11, and have a coffee. I wanted to be able to go to Wendy's and have a salad. If I wasn't feeling well that day or was in a bad mood, I still wanted to be able to go to the mall and get a new shirt. But it wasn't possible to have a "normal" life. Invariably someone would recognize me and I'd have to "turn on" and become this bigger-than-life person they expected me to be. And I was just on the radio! They only recognized me because I was on local TV a lot and made lots of personal appearances for the station, for charity causes, and to introduce bands in clubs. It was all part of the job. I couldn't have one without the other.

I tried my best to be the "celebrity" they expected me to be -- smile, sign autographs, tell jokes, pose for pictures, whatever. But I never asked for it. I didn't sign up for it. So to anyone who says, "well, that's what you signed up for," I say that's crap. That's not how it works.

Now, that's my story. But I know plenty of actors and they tell a similar story. They liked acting in high school, one thing led to another, etc. Just because someone enjoys acting and decided to make a living out of it doesn't mean they "signed up" for being a celebrity. It "goes with the territory?" Well then, what do I do if I have social anxiety disorder? Or I just get paranoid or don't feel comfortable having strangers walk up to me? Should I stay inside and become a hermit? Should I quit the business? If I enjoy what I do for a living, if I enjoy being on the radio, or acting, should I quit just because being a celebrity "goes with the territory?" Does that make any sense?

I've been wanting to say this for a long time but I just didn't think it was anybody's business what I went through in my life. And I didn't then and don't now think it's my responsibility to defend any of my friends who are actors or anyone else who just wants to have a "normal" life. But every time I see someone say "well it goes with the territory" and complain about how a certain celebrity didn't go out of their way to be nice to them, try to put yourself in that person's shoes.

What if I'm bipolar and didn't take my meds that day? Or I'm just having a bad mood swing? Should I lock myself inside so I don't risk someone coming up to me and not getting what they want? Maybe now someone will understand why I "defend" people and feel so strongly about this. It's not that I'm being protective of them. It's because I lived it, and I know what it's like.

Getting freebies and perks doesn't mean you're special. It only means that other people think you are. Guess what? I got lots of stuff and I never thought I deserved it. So what do I do? Give it back? That's pretty rude to give back a gift someone gave you. So maybe the way to deal with it is to get drunk, or get high, and then go out clubbing all night? Maybe that way I can hide how strange a life I really have and appear "normal?" Maybe the reason I numb myself with alcohol and drugs is because I really am lonely and miserable because nobody likes me for "me," they only want to hang out with me because I'm "famous?" But who is going to believe me? After all, that's what I "signed up for," right?