New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

Saddam Hussein in his interview with Dan Rather said he would rather die than leave his country in exile. Finally, something we can agree on, he'd rather die and we'd rather kill him.

In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education – anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda – and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out.

Saddam Hussein has told his people that U.S. troops will commit suicide when they get to the gates of Baghdad. That's when you know you have a bad army, when your only hope for victory is that the enemy's troops kill themselves.

In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President Bush to a live, televised debate. I think this would be fair, since English is a second language to both of them.

President Bush's approval rating has dropped another five points just in the last week. It's now down to 58 percent. I'm not sure who should be more worried, Bush or Saddam Hussein.

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan says he can think of no reason to attack Iraq right now. I can think of five off the top of my head: Shell, Exxon, Mobil, Texaco and BP.

President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?

In California, 50 women protested the im pending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president.

As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil, it's about gasoline.

According to military analysts, an invasion of Iraq by U.S. forces could cost between $20 and $50 billion. The Pentagon announced that it would offset those costs by referring to it as the Verizon Wireless/Pizza Hut War Against Iraq.

More and more information coming out on Saddam Hussein. We now know that he has, like, 24 presidential palaces. Each one of these palaces of Saddam's has a dolphin pool and an amusement park. Well, if you didn't think this guy was creepy before — now he's starting to sound like Michael Jackson.

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news — they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio.

Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? If you think Bush had incentive to bomb Iraq before, imagine if Congress was over there.

Isn't it funny how people say they'll never grow up to be their parents, then one day they look in the mirror and they're moving aircraft carriers into the Gulf region?

The New York Times is reporting that President Bush now has a formal plan for attacking Iraq. They say the key to this plan is timing. As soon as Bush's popularity falls below 52 percent, then it goes into effect.

Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio.


LMFAO... See ya Ohio....

Better watch out... I think Ohio went to Gore.

LOL

REALLY LMAO :woot

Subject: Three Buttons



Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round
of talks in a new peace process.

When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's
chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the
first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and
punches Bush in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Saddam
laughs.

A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot
comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again
George carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of
peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed
and another boot comes out and kicks Bush square in the privates, he's
finally had enough.

I'm headin' back to Washington!" he calmly tells the Iraqi. "We'll
finish these talks in two weeks in Washington!"

A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks. As
the two men sit down, Hussein notices three buttons on Bush's chair and
prepares himself for the Yank's retaliation. They begin talking and
George presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens.
George snickers.

A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but
again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button
is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, but again nothing happens. Bush falls
on the floor in a fit of hysterics.

"Forget this," says Saddam. "I'm going back to Baghdad!"

George W. says through tears of laughter, "What Baghdad?"

:woot