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*Starz*
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 Posted:
Sat Feb 22, 2003 3:31 pm |
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PRO ELITE
Joined: 16 Aug 2002
Posts: 12780
Location: Great Smoky Mountains
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 ...Glad I'm not a blonde...I'd be wounded...  |
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lilwip
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Posted:
Sun Feb 23, 2003 12:07 pm |
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Respected Member
of PROnetworks
Joined: 08 Aug 2002
Posts: 2790
Location: Independence, Missouri
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2 Blondes walked into a bar, the third one ducked........ :woot
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Nolez
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Posted:
Mon Feb 24, 2003 3:37 pm |
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Respected Member
of PROnetworks
Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 3453
Location: Orlando, FL
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Ok...here's a reg. blonde joke:
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are in a bar when the bartender tells them about a magic mirror in the ladies’ room. “Apparently,” he says, “the mirror gives rewards if you stare into it and say something true. But if you lie, you’re sucked into the mirror and never heard from again.”
So the redhead heads to the bathroom, looks into the mirror, and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in this bar.” A million dollars suddenly appears before her.
Then the brunette heads into the bathroom, looks into the mirror, and says, “I think I’m the smartest woman in this bar.” The key to a new Ferrari materializes in her fingers.
Then the blonde goes in, looks into the mirror, and begins, “I think…” And she’s sucked in and never heard from again.
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SCgone
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Posted:
Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:51 pm |
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PRO CHIEF
Joined: 14 Mar 2002
Posts: 20613
Location: South Carolina, USA
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LMAO  |
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Nolez
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Posted:
Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:57 pm |
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Respected Member
of PROnetworks
Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 3453
Location: Orlando, FL
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Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized. She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond. As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, “I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?”
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Nolez
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Posted:
Mon Feb 24, 2003 4:59 pm |
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Respected Member
of PROnetworks
Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 3453
Location: Orlando, FL
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I hope this isn't too vulgar for this place.... 
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"
The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.
After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.
"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.
After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle." |
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*Starz*
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Posted:
Mon Feb 24, 2003 8:04 pm |
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PRO ELITE
Joined: 16 Aug 2002
Posts: 12780
Location: Great Smoky Mountains
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Cute ones... |
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Nolez
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Posted:
Thu Feb 27, 2003 11:51 am |
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Respected Member
of PROnetworks
Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 3453
Location: Orlando, FL
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A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."
"Shut up," she says. "You’re next."
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Mac33
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Posted:
Thu Feb 27, 2003 1:03 pm |
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Respected Member
of PROnetworks
Joined: 12 Mar 2002
Posts: 34345
Location: Scotland
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Nolez
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Posted:
Fri Feb 28, 2003 11:25 am |
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Respected Member
of PROnetworks
Joined: 17 Dec 2002
Posts: 3453
Location: Orlando, FL
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Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail, and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, "Hey—how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder?"
The first blonde explains, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in."
"You moron!" the second blonde yells. "The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house."
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