"While you may have seen this one already...SO WHAT...!!!...tolerate me anyway..." :woot

Subject: How To Give A Cat A Pill


1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing.Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the *beep* cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie the little b*stard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table
.
15) Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

"Now being the proud owner of 5 cats myself...I have to tell you...this is so true..." (Here kitty kitty...nice kitty) :kitty:

lmao


I love this one


Iv had to giva cat pill too

lol

Me too have to give Pepper a prednisone once a week now,been doing it for 13 year for her. The first year was utter hell!.Now its a piece of cake, just cradle her, talk nicely,open the side of her mouth, and pop it in, then I rub her gums to salavitate*. Thank God!

As a owner of two cats, let's pray they never have to have pills administered by myself. I would not have the patience for that.

NorthWeb Mike wrote:

As a owner of two cats, let's pray they never have to have pills administered by myself. I would not have the patience for that.

You'd develop patience real fast if you have to Pay $40 to vet each time!

good point.

I suppose it is no different than when I have to trim their nails.

I have that down to a routine now. Wife holds their back legs and I cut the front ones. Then vise versa. It was getting kind of bloody on my end for awhile.

Pills are easier, lucky you,your wife helps you trim nails. My hubby wont get near the procedure at all, tho hes a real whoosh with the cats. The one I can clip, I put her bottom under my heavy blanket,and kinda lay on her to trim nails., If Im lucky I get the back nails too. The other cat forget it!

That procedure certainly sounds like a big operation to me, i'm glad it's you and not me that has to do that.

Better that than getting a lip scratch like Yaps did couple of weeks ago, or amputating the first knuckle. :woot